Saints?

We are approaching Valentine's Day. St Valentine was the patron saint of lovers, the betrothed and had the less glamorous job of "protection against plague" To me, his job description was all over the place. Hit and miss, as it were! As I was discussing with my housemate earlier, it's a bit like being in charge of a country but also having responsibility for making sure each sock was part of a pair.

To keep myself amused this evening I have compiled a list of potential saints:

1) St Elsewhere: The patron saint of avoiding people after embarrassing situations

2) St Reatham: The patron saint of shitty areas of London which have delusions of grandeur

3) St Amina: The patron saint of the discomfort suffered after an infrequent visit to the gym

4) St Itch: The patron saint of insane Disney characters

5) St Ylophone: The patron saint of pointless musical instruments that you could get as a kid which have now been replaced by Air Guitar or Rock Group

6) St Arving: The patron saint of revisiting the fridge every 5 minutes despite there being nothing in there

7) St Arling: The patron saint of bird poo

8) St Arch: The patron saint of burning a hole in your favourite shirt right before an important meeting and/or job interview

9) St Ring: The patron saint of random bits of detritus and fluff extracted from your pocket

10) St Abbing: The patron saint of gangs

Oooooh, I could do this for hours :D