Vinka finds her feet

Day Two dawned in glorious technicolour. For the bargain price of both kidneys, I had invested in a European internet booster, so my phone was telling me it was 20 degrees outside and sunny.

Hooray, what does one do in Paris by oneself on a midweek morning in March? Yep, they grab their camera and head out to find some interesting-looking buildings. Instead, I found some interesting-looking Algerians. They appeared friendly, although my guard remained up in case their motive was murder, rape, or worse - theft of camera! After spending some time in their company, and receiving a fascinating guide to the red light district in a combination of English, French and Dutch, we approached Le Basilica de Sacre Coeur.

Those of you with a passing interest in French cinema will be aware of Sacre Coeur from its prominence in Amelie (which was filmed entirely in Montmartre) "Oh great, more fucking stairs" I lamented - which seemed to be the theme of my entire stay. These are not just stairs, these are M&BloodyS stairs. I`m sure there were at least a million before you got halfway but, once at the top, the reward was breathtaking (both literally and figuratively) Those who smoke, are infirm or who live in England, and are therefore of a lazy disposition, should not attempt this challenge unless they are in possession of an oxygen mask, crampons and a Sherpa guide.

Result! A call from Pierre, to say he was coming to meet me for the afternoon. So, I gladly allowed him to take me on a tour of the local cemetary, which is spectacular - if you`re into that kind of thing, which I am - and left the Algerians arguing over who was going to ask me on a date.